When Something Is Calling You Forward
Sometimes a new possibility enters our lives quietly.
It may begin as a longing we can barely name. An idea that keeps returning. A change we find ourselves imagining. A life we can see somewhere in the distance, even though we have no idea how to get from here to there.
Sometimes we don’t even let ourselves think about it for very long.
We already know the objections.
That’s not practical.
I don’t know how.
I can’t afford it.
What would people think?
What if I fail?
So we do something very human.
We begin solving the problems before we have allowed ourselves to fully experience the possibility.
And sometimes we do the same thing when someone we love entrusts us with a dream of their own.
They begin to tell us about something that excites them—and almost immediately our practical minds go to work.
But have you thought about…?
How would you…?
What about…?
The concerns may be entirely reasonable.
But perhaps they have arrived too soon.
An emerging possibility is particularly vulnerable because it does not yet have evidence on its side. It has no accomplishment to point toward, no certainty that it will succeed, perhaps not even a plan.
It is something that might become.
And sometimes what might become needs enough room to become visible before we decide what is possible.
This does not mean that every dream should be pursued, or that practical realities should be ignored. Obstacles matter. Resources matter. Timing, responsibilities, limitations, and consequences matter.
But an obstacle does not have to become a verdict.
There is another way we can meet a threshold—especially when we meet it in relationship.
One person may be able to see what does not yet exist.
Another may be able to see the terrain between here and there.
One carries the dream.
The other may notice the missing step, the needed resource, the obstacle hidden around the bend, or a path the dreamer cannot yet see.
Neither has to take over the other’s role.
Perhaps this is one of the gifts we can offer one another at the threshold of something new:
not to crush the dream,
not to carry the dream,
but to enter into relationship with the dreamer and help discover what the dream might require.
The dreamer brings possibility.
The builder brings structure.
And when the two can remain in relationship long enough, something that once existed only as a yearning may begin to acquire form.
Perhaps that is what a threshold really is.
Not a command to leap.
Not a promise that what we imagine will come true.
But a place where what already exists encounters what might exist—and where relationship can help determine what becomes possible next.
So when something begins calling you forward, perhaps the first question is not:
Can I do this?
Perhaps it is simply:
What is trying to become possible here?
The Bodyworks: Bring Your Dreams
Shortly after moving to CA with four kids – yours, mine and ours – in tow, my husband asked me to sit with him on the couch. We were in a new state, with a newly reunited family and an open future.
As we faced each other, I could see the glow of excitement just shining from his face and his alert posture. He leaned forward and told me he knew what he wanted to do next: he wanted to open an auto body shop where he could also build show cars and restore old cars.
Then my logical, rational mind cut through the moment like a hot knife through butter: “But you don’t know how to do bodywork;” “You’ve never owned a business;” “We have four kids and no income right now;” and so on.
As I spoke, I saw the light in his face dim and then disappear. His body slumped backward into the couch. I had fully defeated his dream, nipped it in the bud before it could germinate.
When I saw that, it was unbearable. I said, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to kill your dream with all the reasons why it can’t happen. I do that to my dreams, too – and it’s not what I want to teach our kids. Have your dream – and I will do everything in my power to help it come true for you.”
He brightened again. Three months later, he opened The Bodyworks: Bring Your Dreams in a rented commercial garage with a Show ‘n Shine car show in the parking lot for customized show cars. The Dream had germinated, birthed by his passion and my supportive structuring. We evoked it into existence together.
A Practice: Give the Dream a Little Room
Think of something that has been quietly calling you forward.
It may be a dream you have carried for years, or something that has only recently begun to stir.
It doesn’t have to be practical. You don’t have to know how to do it.
You don’t even have to decide whether you will pursue it.
For the next few minutes, simply give it permission to exist.
Ask yourself:
What am I longing for?
What do I find myself imagining or returning to?
If I knew no one would criticize, dismiss, or immediately tell me why it couldn’t happen, what would I be willing to say aloud?
What is my heart’s core?
Stay there for a moment. Don’t make a plan yet.
Don’t calculate the cost. Don’t list the obstacles.
Let the possibility become visible before asking it to prove that it can survive.
Then, when you are ready, invite the Builder into the conversation.
Look at what you have written and ask:
What would this possibility need in order to take one step toward becoming real?
Perhaps it needs information.
Perhaps a skill you don’t yet have.
Perhaps money, time, or a different sequence than the one you first imagined.
Perhaps another person who can see something you cannot.
Perhaps there is a genuine obstacle that needs to be understood before you move forward.
Choose one obstacle.
Instead of asking:
Is this the reason I can’t do it?
try asking:
What would I need to know, learn, change, find, or create in order to work with this obstacle?
You don’t have to solve it.
You are simply changing its role.
It is no longer automatically a verdict.
It has become something you can enter into relationship with.
And before you finish, ask yourself:
Who might be able to stand beside me as a Builder—not to take over my dream, but to help me see the terrain more clearly?
Explore More Deeply: Becoming a Builder
Think of a time when someone shared a dream, idea, or possibility with you.
Or imagine that someone you care about comes to you with one now.
Before responding, notice what happens inside you.
Do you immediately see the problems?
Do you begin calculating what it would cost, what could go wrong, or why it may not be practical?
Do you become enthusiastic and want to jump aboard?
Do you begin figuring out how you could make it happen?
All of these responses are understandable.
But for a moment, try something different. Begin by helping the dream become more visible.
You might ask:
What is it about this possibility that matters so much to you?
What do you imagine it would make possible in your life?
What part of it feels most alive?
Listen without evaluating.
You do not have to agree that the dream is practical. You do not have to believe it will succeed. Your first task as Builder is simply to understand what the Dreamer sees.
Then, when the dream has had enough room to breathe, begin looking at the terrain together. Ask:
What would need to be true for this to become possible?
What do we already have to work with?
What is missing?
What obstacles can we see from here?
What might we need to learn?
Who else might know something we don’t?
And when an obstacle appears, resist turning it immediately into a conclusion.
Instead of: That won’t work because…
try: How might we work with that?
Sometimes the answer will be clear.
Sometimes the obstacle will require a different route.
And sometimes careful exploration will reveal that the dream, at least in its present form, cannot or should not be pursued.
That is discernment, too.
The Builder’s job is not to guarantee that the Dreamer’s vision becomes reality.
It is not to take ownership of the dream.
And it is not to protect the Dreamer from every difficulty along the way.
The Builder offers something else: another set of eyes.
One person can keep looking toward what might become while another helps notice the terrain beneath their feet.
And together they can ask:
What is the next possible step?
A Seed to Carry With You
Some dreams arrive before we know how to make them real.
They do not need certainty.
They need enough room to become visible—and sometimes another person willing to stand beside us while we discover the way.
The Dreamer sees what might become.
The Builder helps discover what it will require.
Relationship creates the path between them.
Perhaps the next time a possibility appears—your own or someone else’s—you might ask:
What does this need from me in order to have a chance to become?
